No picture today, i haven't showered today. Well i broke the news on facebook it's fun to see all the reactions from people, i think everyone else is just as surprised as we were! Hah...infact i think i know about 4-5 people that are all pregnant and due about the same time, it's crazy, i guess everyone was doing it in august, haha.
I keep telling my mom this and i'm sure for everyone and their first pregnancy its really crazy and hard to wrap your head around, i mean i guess hearing the heartbeat and stuff is crazy, and when i got to see the ultrasound with the lil peanut moving around and waving its arms and stuff, it was really crazy that THAT is inside of me, but honestly besides being exhausted i don't feel a whole different...the morning sickness really subsided after 9 weeks or so, i still get nauseous occasionally, but i was always nauseous before being pregnant. The first two months my boobs were PAINFUL, but now that is gone...so if i didn't know that i was pregnant i could probably be on "i didn't know i was pregnant", haha.
No, but all joking aside, i am terrified of having an unhealthy baby, i know that's not a good thing to focus on and dwell on, but seriously, i feel like anything i do thats 'wrong' is going to add up and my kid is going to come out not mentally stable or something, UH! I wish i could just convince myself i'm going to have a happy, healthy baby, but i guess that biggest thing that freaked me out is that i know a girl my same age that had a baby last year with downs, it was her first baby and had no idea until she was born, that FREAKS me out, i don't want to sound shallow or anything, but i don't think i could deal with that, i would feel so guilty that i did this, and couldn't really have prevented it.
OKAY...i'm done, i'm trying to think positive! Joel reminded me last week, "Well just remember half of that baby is mine, and i kick ass...soooo, it's probably gonna be perfect" haha, i love my husband. :-)
I remember those symptomless days ha. I remember feeling just like you, if i didn't know i was pregnant i wouldnt think i was. As for fearing having a child with a disability, I don't think you sound shallow at all. I think it is a common fear among pregnant women. Not that we wouldn't love the child. It's just that every mom wants a healthy baby. I'm sure yours will be fine. I am so happy for you and look forward to following your blog and pregnancy updates. It's such a special time. I'm wishing you all the luck and hoping for an easy pregnancy for you.
ReplyDelete