22 weeks

22 right? yea...I think that's right, it gets hard to keep track after all this time, haha. So I think i'm FINALLY recovering from my horrific week in Florida...just in time to fly to mexico, hopefully the flying won't take it out on me like it did with Florida, but i'll be in different company and I think it will just be a nice relaxing time...

So I went and talked to my psychologist today...I think that's what you call her, we'll just say she's my mental health dr, and I found something out today that I didn't know about her, that she has special interest in pregnancy depression and post partum depression, as well as anxiety and all that stuff, so going to see her was the best thing I ever did! I told her my concerns about taking my anxiety medication and she said the way I was using (which is like maybe once or twice a week as needed) was completely safe and that there have been studies shown that ladies took higher doses of it through their entire pregnancy and never had problems with it, so at this point i'm just going to be taking my meds as needed, but if I get to a point where i'm way too overwhelmed or feeling like I can't deal, there are other safe medications she can give me to put me at ease, she also gave me some relaxation techniques to try during any panic attacks and things like that, she wants to check up with me once a month until the baby is born just to see how things are and how i'm handling everything, so it was sooo nice to talk to her today, and it totally put my mind at ease about the whole anxiety thing.

Other than that, i've gained about 4 pounds...not alot, but I think it's okay, I had some extra weight to begin with and I don't want to just start gaining crazy amounts of weight and be insanely overweight when this baby comes, so I think it's pretty good.

Baby is kicking around alot, I can now feel when he 'flops' over or atleast I think that's what he's doing, thats what it feels like....but he still has his days where he isn't as active, and those are always weird, but usually by bedtime he's going crazy. My inny belly button is almost an outy! I hadn't really noticed it, until Joel said something about my bellybutton getting shallow and now I check it everyday!! haha, and last night after dinner, it was trying soooo hard to peek out! AHH! So weird.

No stretch marks on my tummy yet...knock on wood, I have been trying to moisturize specifically that spot like crazy, I already have stretch marks from when I was a kid on my sides and thighs, and I defiantly didn't want to add to those! Anyway, i'm nervous for my glucose tolerance test next week, but I booked it in the afternoon so hopefully I won't be all sick and starving.

Well I think that's all for now! Here's the picture:

21 weeks

Sorry i'm late, and no picture today but I wanted to update, I'll get a picture up eventually. We flew back from Florida yesterday and I am EXHAUSTED! My boss has no respect for other people and it was really hard to sleep when she was talking on her phone until 1 in the morning...ugh.

So me and my boss and a co-worker, but also my boss (its a strange deal) flew down to FL for the national veterinary conference, I wasn't quite as excited this year as last, but I she had already registered all of us and bought plane tickets before I was pregnant so I kind of felt obligated to go...

So me and my coworker flew down friday and kind of had our own time to do things until our boss met up with us on sunday, we got in about midnight on friday and slept in saturday, we both went to bed early saturday and were very respectful of eachother...until you know who showed up sunday, she's not a sleeper, and apparently it doesn't matter if anyone else (Especially PREGNANT) is tired and need their sleep...I was soooo tired, and got sick monday and had to take time out from the lectures just to nap and re-coop, I actually ended up having an emotional breakdown, I was bawling and so upset about not being able to sleep, it was awful, I was ready to just fly home.

I've taken it easy today, (we didn't get home until after midnight again last night, and the flight back is a whole other story, including a guy that wouldn't switch seats with me, seriously people?!) I slept until 11 this morning, and am planning on going to bed EARLY, the snow here is insane and I am sooo not looking forward to going to work tomorrow!

I did make this yummy cabbage soup today thats delicious!! The worst thing about cooking in a crock pot is waiting until it's done, it smells sooooo good! I was ready to eat this like 3 hours ago!

anyway...on to baby stuff, I'm feeling pretty good overall, I don't know if I gained any weight this week cuz I haven't weighed myself yet, so i'll have to see on that, i've been trying to eat well, but defiantly this past week was hard. I'm finding that even though i'm starving, I get full really fast and then loose my apetite, so sometimes I feel like i'm not eating enough food...

Baby has been moving like crazy, Joel got to feel it for the first time last night, he had his arm laying on my stomach and baby was kicking him like crazy! The same thing happened this morning with Iris laying her head on my tummy, haha she was so confused.

I'm sooo ready to go talk to my doctor about my anxiety too, it's been getting bad, alot of racing heart, can't catch my breath and un controllable shivering, I can't imagine any of that is good for the baby, I read that momma with anxiety issues while pregnant can cause their babies to have anxiety problems, uh oh...

Anyway, theres a little update, i'll be back sometime soon.

20 weeks, It's a Boy!!

So we went in for our big scan today, it was so cool! I wish I could have recorded the look on Joel's face, I think it was really cool for him, because until now and just seeing me getting fat and complaining about how my hips hurt, he hadn't really gotten to see anything to "confirm" that there was a little baby in there, but its always so cool to see the little munchin rolling around in there. Everything looked good according to the dr, he had a brain, and a stomach and legs and fingers and all that good stuff, so hopefully it's all healthy and good inside too :-) He showed his goods off right away, I just KNEW I was right!

The past week or so he's been moving like crazy, but whenever I can get a good hard kick I try to get Joel to come over quick and then as soon as he feels, it stops.. :-( Hopefully he'll be able to feel it soon. We've got some names in the running, but nothing permanent yet, I don't think we'll share the name until he's born, because I've just seen how people can be, and even though I don't think any of our family members would do the "Really?! you're gonna name him THAT?!" but still...I know everyone has their opinions and I don't think I have the emotional capacity to deal with someone saying something mean.

Anywho, I started packing for Florida today...we leave on friday, I realllly cannot wish enough that I stay healthy and feeling good while we fly down there, I also hope I have aisle seats and if not, that the person in the aisle seat will either trade with me, or be nice about me having to pee all the time. I got alot of healthy snacks to eat while flying and during the whole conference, so yay!

My tattoos (part 1)

Okay, Amy suggested I do a post about my tattoos, I don't have a billion like some people, but to not drag it on too long i'm going to group them into kind of different ones that were done at the same time or by different artists..

So my very first tattoos were the dove outlines that are on either side of my 'Sunshine', I totally stole the image from something I found off the internet, and I hate to say that now, but hopefully i've made it personal enough it's not too alike.

The next I got was the 'Sunshine' across my shoulders, I love this one because I love John Denver with all of my heart, my parents of course listened to it when I was a kid, and I can sing every song by heart on his greatest hits live album, so amazing, I could listen to John forever...Well my dad used to sing Sunshine on my Shoulders when we were kids and if we ever had nightmares and couldn't get back to sleep, he would sing that song and all the monsters and horrible things from the nightmares would be pushed aways by sunshine and happy thoughts, it was amazing. 

(I also want to put a disclaimer here that not all of my tattoos have a meaning, alot of them I just thought were cool and loved the design, Tattoo shows on TV are so stupid when they make people think that every tattoo has to have a meaning)

 My little cherry blossoms on my upper arm was a painting on a ceramic cup that my grandma had done, I actually didn't know that she had painted it until after I got the tattoo.

 The next Sailor Jerry Mermaid I kinda custom made and Damon is amazing enough to make it so, I changed her from blonde to brunette and we added some flowers and I think we changed her face too, but like most of sailor jerry's stuff I just think it's beautiful.

 This is my "OW" face....Tattoos suck, don't let anyone tell you they don't hurt, i'll admit some areas are not as painful as others, but they still all hurt and it sucks...over the years i've developed a technique that's probably horribly unhealthy, but I drink a TON of water before going in to get a tattoo (Which is good to stay hydrated) But then when my bladder is soooo full to the point where it kinda hurts to hold it in, I focus more on not peeing my pants than how much the tattoo hurts....haha, weird?? May not work for all people, but it sure works for me!!

 This whale (Again, I love whales, sorry) came from a book about whales and I liked the kind of japanese carving style that it looked like.

 So all of these tattoos I got within the first couple months after turning 18, it's when I was fresh outta the start and I went to the shop every other week.

19 Weeks

Well, I'm almost half way there! Okay, there's no denying i'm pregnant now, It was like "hmm, maybe it's just my normal fat gut getting alittle pudgier" but now my belly button is getting shallower and its defiantly a 'bump'!

So my appetite is back, i'm alllways hungry and my co-workers at work give me a hard time when I go to the fridge to get a 'snack' and it's half a sandwich...I've been trying to eat healthy snacks instead of junk food. I've gained back about 3-4 pounds now, so that makes me feel alittle better about making sure the baby is growing okay. I'm trying to cut down on the sweets though, because I would probably be the insanely unlucky person that would get diabetes while being pregnant...

So my anxiety kind of has had a boost in the past week, i've contacted my dr because the meds she has me on are like at the bottom of the list to use while pregnant, so i'm waiting on a call from her, it's not extreme, and i'm sure alot of it is the hormones and normal pregnancy anxiety, but because i'm flying to florida next week I would hate to be "That pregnant lady that had a panic attack on the plane" hah..

And to add on top of the anxiety, Joel got laid off...the company he works for is contracted out to the refinery and apparently they just don't have any work right now, he hasn't worked since the beginning of december...and of course we didn't know that so didn't file for un employment right away, so we've been living off of my paycheck for the past month, which isn't alot. It really sucks when all the medical bills are piling up, Joels donating Plasma as I speak..which sucks, but eh, he would do anything to make sure the bills are paid.

My big appointment with the infectious disease dr is tomorrow, and hopefully she can help me kick this c-diff thing, so I never have to deal with it ever again...I'm just trying to keep my head up and thinking that things will get better!! (and I might buy a lottery ticket, just in case)