A broken record...

So here I am...sick again, This time with a sinus infection, or probably just a side effect of Pregnancy rhinitis. Not to mention I can't sleep, and I have a headache. I am a broken record, 'Chanda is always sick' it is so disheartening...I mean ever since I was a kid I was allllways sick, I always got the flu going around, I came down with Mono in high school and ended up having to be homeschooled because I couldn't keep up with my sleep...even after I 'got over it' I still never felt great, i've always needed so much more sleep than the regular person, and if I didn't get enough sleep once, it haunted me for days...

I went through a couple of years where I didn't get sick for along time, but now with all the UTI's and now the C-Diff, it's like a never ending battle...now I know some of this has to do with my pregnancy and my immune system being down, but I just feel like I don't even know what it feels like to be normal anymore...When my boss hired me back the second time she talked to me about how i'm sick all the time and that worried her...UGH! It's like I don't know what else to do! I don't smoke, I don't do drugs, I don't stay out late, I sleep more than a 2 year old, I take my vitamins, I don't eat fast food, I eat breakfast EVERY morning, I try to drink lots of water, I wash my hands, but not too much, I don't know!!

It's really worrying me right now, not only because of how all this being sick and stress is affecting the baby, but what about after the baby?? How am I going to be able to take care of myself and get any sleep and feel like a person when i'm taking care of a tiny baby? I'm so frustrated, and even though I know my co-workers understand (or atleast try to) I still feel like an awful failure that just can't do anything right. Sorry, needed to rant....