OK....so I graduate tech school and go back to the clinic my life started at. The veterinarian and the staff I had grown up with were so happy, supportive, just everyone was so proud of me. I got to do all the things, learning new things, new responsibilities...I gave my heart and soul into work. Coming into work sick, covering for anyone and everyone. Never missing work, working overtime all the time....*brief pause* I recently found some old paystubs from back when I was making $10 an hour...and I was working 98-110 hours per pay period that I was making BANK...even though I got paid shit, honestly those days I was working so much, I was making so much money compared to nowadays working a normal(ish) shift work and making (a tiny amount (really)) of money....
I saw everything, every insane injury, surgeries that were experimental, chemotherapy for dogs, lab work...everything. Everyday was a new day, it was amazing and I loved it. But the DRAMA...the fucking drama that those ladies created, it held on to me. I had such a hard time in school with drama....I grew up with a whole gaggle of girls that were the "popular" girls, and I went through phases where I was "IN" with them and then when I wasn't, regardless keeping close friendships with those girls and not hurting feelings, etc...was very time consuming and emotionally taxing on me. So I quit having close friends, I was just friends with everyone, but no one took presidence over anyone else, because maintaining those relationships and making everyone feeling included was sooo hard to me. I couldn't deal with it. So I tried to seek out new things, I told my boss I wanted to expand my learning and I left the clinic, I ended up interviewing at the zoo after being in the veterinary world for like 7-8 years. I left, I started my career at the Zoo, it was great, amazing, I got so many cool life experiences, and job experiences. Unfortunately without willing to move outside of Montana....the Zoo was not ready for the advancement of veterinary medicine, and just didn't in the time I was there. Infact I ended up leaving only a couple months before the Zoo almost got ran into the ground with bankruptcy and the shit show of a director that was working.
So, now i'm completely lost in my life. I know that veterinary medicine is not for me, the drama, the bullshit, and I can't deal with it, my anxiety is over the top. I can't further my career with the zoo industry unless i'm willing to move. These are the cards i'm dealt and I need to deal with it. Being a creature of habit, I go back to my old clinic...they welcome me with open arms, the zoo gig didn't work out, no hard feelings...come back be amazing, do your job and everyone elses..... I worked my assssssss off, Clients loved me, I got a random card with $500 in it from a client that loved to see my smile and how I treated their family everytime they came in. I loved my job, I loved what I did. I didn't love the people I worked with or who I worked for, but I made it work, because if i've learned nothing else up until the point is to be happy with the cards you are dealt and make it work.....
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