27 weeks..

Well i've been trying my best to stay busy, and be the best little house wife I can be. I've cleaned the entire house up and down, yesterday I had an off day...it was strange, I just woke up feeling 'blah' and then when I was making dinner, I had prepared everything and set it out, and then half way through thought "I should do a blog about this" it was the cabbage soup, that is delish....and I was sooo upset with myself that I didn't take any pictures when everything was prepared and set out, It literally ruined my day, Stupid hormones.

Anyway, today I woke up feeling blah again, but after I got out into the sunshine and went to see my dr, little bugger is doing good, kicking around while he was trying to listen with the doppler, and I was told we'll be moving my visits up to every two weeks instead of four...This is the LAST trimester! I can hardly believe it...thinking back, it seems like everything went soo quickly! That's okay though, i'm ready to meet this little guy and start his life, I don't mind being an incubator, but I'm already miserable, I can't imagine that I can get any bigger....

On the other hand, I still have sooo much to do!! We just started our classes at the hospital about everything we need to know...we watched two videos on child birth, craziness...and our hospitals lamaze class is already full! So we need to figure something out, whether we do it online or something...I actually checked out the other hospitals prenatal classes and they focus more on breathing and relaxation, but they're at the same time as our other classes, and my dr told me he wants us to stick to the ones at our hospital, just because the drs that I will be dealing with, are the ones that speak at these classes...which makes sense.

Anyway...So we've been working on getting the nursery painted, and my friend Jessie came over, because I asked her to do some of her adorable little cartoon illustrations on the wall...Well she was thinking way more than I was, because she wants them HUGE!...It took me alittle while to get used to, but I think it's going to look good, I mean some people may think i'm going alittle overboard with the cute cartoon animal murals on the wall, but you only get to be ridiculous for your baby's room once right??! haha...I was never one to be very 'classy' as far as decorating goes, I go big or go home...so here's just alittle sneak peak of what's going on the walls....

 Those are the overhead projections we used just so she could trace it up on the wall...as you can see, they're kind of huge, and where the elephant is, Pauhi is in the middle and Bruno is farther to the left, The whale though, is my favorite, and he gets his very own wall...Anyway, I think it's going to look super cute once everything gets painted, it's hard to just kind of imagine right now...

So other than that, things are good, I only gained 1-2 pounds...but my dr wasn't worried, so that's good. I have this 'stretched nerve' on my right upper abdomen, which hurts like hell, but other than that nothing new...just heartburn, and finding it harder to move around...

Happier times...

These past few days have been really hard on me, I've been crying alot and loosing some sleep, but things are finally starting to look up. I still have that small thought in the back of my head something is going to backfire on me and something horrible will happen, but I have gotten so much support in the last few days, that it's hard for me to think something will actually happen....(Besides that, I have two lawyer friends and two cop friends, so I could seriously scare some shit outta her if I had to...) I also got an amazing boost of support from my 'other' boss today, she reassured me that I did the right thing, and that "Anyone who matters is not mad at me"....So I know things will start looking up for me soon, I just have to get through this rough patch and send my resignation letter off to seal the deal and move on...

In the mean time, I was just looking through pictures of all the people who care for me and love me, and it really brightened my day...so that's what i'm posting.

I quit my job...

It didn't start out as a horrible day, infact I thought it was going to go better than I expected, except that I couldn't sleep last night, I was tossing and turning all night. I had the early shift at work this morning, and I went even earlier so that I could bring Iris and Mateo to get their teeth done. They had been looked at, and ready to go, but Dr. K had some clients that came in that she wanted to 'squeeze' in for some non emergent surgeries...which put us completely behind, when 5 o' clock rolled around Mateo still hadn't been done, so Dr. S went to ask when he was going to get done, well something happened and all hell broke loose...anyway, Brittney decided to stay after hours so that we could get Mateo done, and Dr. K made a comment to me about being in the same room as the anesthesia...and it didn't sit right with me, I may have been over thinking it, but the way she said it and the way that she hasn't cared about ANYTHING to do with this pregnancy, really ticked me off....Like bawl my eyes out on the way home and call my sister sobbing, ticked me off...Like Text my boss and tell her I am quitting ticked off...

Don't get me wrong, it isn't just this little thing, but it's the fact that she had to say it at that time, on this day, in that way...I've had enough, i'm done, i'm over that place...it was so unhealthy.

I talked to my sister for a long time, who had some great things to say, and as much as I would like to be the bigger person in this situation and go in tomorrow and act like nothing happened, I just couldn't...I needed to be done with this, and my anxiety is so extreme that I honestly don't think I could have stood up to her without passing out, or being so anxious that it hurt the baby...

I know it was the right thing to do...It's hard to believe right now, and i'm still unsettled, its not quite real yet, and I want to feel like it's just a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, but it's not yet...I know it's going to take some time for me to feel like I made the right decision, but I know it will get there, and I won't regret this. I think the biggest thing right now is that my insurance still isn't figured out, but I know that Joel would sell his kidney if he had to, to make sure there is a roof over our heads, so even though things are going to get complicated and hard, it's gonna work out....

26 weeks...

I had so much planned to do today, I was going to get the paint for the baby room, I have a ton of shopping to do for the bunnies and for the house, but i'm stuck at home waiting for the cable company...Our internet has not been working very well, so since i'm the only one that has a week day off it's always my job to stay home and wait for the person to come, which is crazy, they give you an insane window of time that they could come to your house and you have to be home when they come...errrgh!

Eh, so work has not gotten any better, and at this point, after talking to regular people with regular jobs, i'd be kind of insane if I stayed, with my family and health in mind i'm leaving next month, its so strange its like i'm addicted to that place, even though its so insanely unhealthy, it's weird. It's going to be stressful, this couldn't have come at the worst time ever, but Joel and I are gonna figure it out, and if I have to work the streets I would..(haha, jokes)

I'm taking the puppies in to get them all fixed up..get their teeth cleaned and vaccinated, which is something I would do anyway with the baby coming, of course knowing that i'm going to put in my notice in a couple weeks makes me feel alittle guilty about doing it all for the discount, but what can you do right?

We moved the bunnies down stairs this weekend, my amazing husband made the best little bunny corner for them, and I think it's a really nice space, they're upset with me right now, but I think they'll get over it. Everything is getting so much more real now that we have the room all cleared out and my friend Jessie came over to figure out where she's going to paint all the adorable little animals on the walls, We start our hospital parenting classes next week, which is crazy and then pretty soon this baby is gonna have to come out one way or another!!

You feel like you have all the time in the world for this baby, and then all of a sudden it's like woah...I have three months left and I don't feel like i've done ANYTHING!!

I have the worst heartburn ever right now, it feels like my throat is on fire, even after drinking water!! Also moving around is getting alot harder, hips are still fairly sore, and moving around while sleeping is just a joke...His kicks are getting alot stronger, and I can now feel when he has the hiccups!! It's such a funny feeling....

I still haven't really gained any weight according to my scale at home, even before I was pregnant I would usually fluctuate 2-3 pounds in a week or so, and it seems to have kept up while being pregnant, i've just been maintaining around the same area, but not really gaining or loosing anything...it's strange. Cuz i'm trying to eat like crazy, I'm snacking and eating seconds of everything, and still nothing...

 Here's just a few pics from mexico...I really didn't take that many, but eh...I guess I just enjoyed myself :-) This is Vaca...a little doggie that visited us everyday, she kept my puppy sadness at bay..

This one was taken right outside the backdoor of our villa, it was gorgeous!! I will miss waking up to this every morning!

25 weeks

Well it's insane, but i'm pretty sure this baby doubled over night...seriously, I mean I've had this belly for alittle while and its been a task to work around it, but I woke up this morning and it was like the bump grew hugely, and now it is soooo in the way, I can hardly do anything easily!! Holy Cow....I dunno how this baby is gonna keep growing, or how i'm going to be able to do anything pretty soon!

I got up early this morning, and got alot of stuff done today, I started registering..which was crazy cuz when I got into the store I had NO IDEA what I was suppose to be registering for...haha, I ended up doing it at Toys R Us because we don't have a babies r us but they sort of have stuff inside the toys r us store....anyway they have ALOT more stuff than Target does, so I decided it would be better to register there. I think I need to go back when my mom gets into town, cuz I don't think I even got half of the stuff I needed, I hardly knew what diapers to choose...wow, this is alot harder than I thought!! Well so I decided to go to Target anyway because they give you a gift bag with goodies and coupons that are really great, but they were all out!! Ah, so i'll have to go back later and get one.

I picked out some paint colors for the room, and I went on a cleaning rage today, the house was pretty filthy from before we left to mexico because I hadn't been feeling well before we left, so I decided shit needed to be cleaned today....So I cleaned like crazy today, put a dent in things, but still need to do some more. Dreading going to work tomorrow...ugh, oh well, okay...here's some pictures.

 Here's taterpants using my stomach as a pillow...this was the day after we got back from Mexico and he wouldn't leave me alone! And he didn't want to leave my stomach alone either, baby was kicking his head the whole time, it was so sweet.

 BOOM! huge belly! I took some bare belly photos, which usually i'm not a fan of, but it's truly amazing to see the bump without the clothes...I have stretch marks on my sides from when I went through a growth spurt as a kid, so I don't love showing them off, I did take some photos that I covered them, but i'm still self conscious...maybe someday, hah.

24 weeks, and then some...

Well I made it through all the plane rides and made it safely to Mexico and back, it was soooo beautiful and warm there, I defiantly did not want to leave. It was fun to spend time with the family (even though somedays I would have just liked to keep to myself) But it was amazing, the snorkeling was sooo much fun! I saw so many things out in the ocean I have never seen before, and it was my goal to try and find something new every time I went out and I did! It was so soothing and relaxing to go swimming, I think it put baby to sleep because he would rarely kick while I was swimming, but sometimes I could feel him rolling around in there.

Its amazing to sleep in my own bed again, the beds there were so hard and my hips were killing me! I got some laundry done today and Joel finally set up the tv down in the basement, this week I really need to focus on baby...I feel like i'm soooo behind on everything, I need to register for everything still, we haven't gotten ANYTHING yet...I feel so behind, there are all sorts of ladies on babycenter.com that have had their baby showers planned months ago and nurseries already done...at this rate, I probably won't have a baby shower until after the birth, if I have one at all....

And get paint to start on the baby room, and get the floor and stuff done, once that is finished I think it will be easier to decorate and feel like things will actually fall into place.

Anyway, here are some pictures, I haven't downloaded everything from my camera yet...no time.

Rant...

Uhhhh!! Such a horrible day at work, i'm not sure how much I can handle this, I really can't believe that i'm so tied down just because of insurance, but there is NO FREAKING way we can have this baby without insurance, and it just so happens that life hates my guts insanely and so Joel doesn't have any insurance for 6 months! So for now I would have to apply for insurance, and get denied (which could take forever) and THEN send it in under a different policy, showing that I had been denied because of my pregnancy, and then at that time they would approve me for some mediocre coverage, and that could take a couple weeks to complete....I am so freaking stressed, I can't do this, I worked a 10 hour day today, in between being insanely nauseous and ready to fall over, and no one seemed to notice or care....sometimes I just want to yell in people's faces "I am FREAKING 5 months pregnant, I should NOT be doing this right now, I need to go home and sleep!!!!!"

I left...it wasn't even the end of the day, I could have been there another 2 hours atleast, and I just left, I just couldn't do it anymore. It weighs on me because i'm not the kind of person to pull the 'pregnancy card' or 'feel sorry for me, i don't feel good' but I just could not stand it today, I felt so exhausted and out of it, I shouldn't have even pushed myself to be at work, and yet I did...and I sooo regret it.

I would quit tomorrow if I could, I just wish life were more simple....  :-(